Over the last couple of days I've felt a sense of unease. My mind is aware of it too -- I've been having weird dreams that left me waking up in a bad mood. As I attempted to identify the issue I thought about many things, and after 2-3 days I've come to some replies.
Walk away from the crutches, even if its your Very Best buddy
First, I am lucky enough to have a great companion in San Diego. But, it's important that you know when you have to walk your path. Often times, we lean on the shoulders of others, and in the process, forget to learn that which we should learn to do ourselves. By way of example, I am constantly hanging out together with himand we play video games. This really is excellent fun, but lately after our LA trip I have felt a feeling of waste after enjoying matches. I flashed my Heroes of the Storm bnet account and now I have far more free time on my hands. So the lesson is, find out if you need to develop your own strength, and also have the guts to walk away from your best friend. He/she will know, that you need the time to yourself to create inner strength.
I've also learned that my day pick up abilities are much better, and that I have a tendency to do better in my. From time to time, you need to go out there and watch the world for yourself, instead of resenting others for"holding you back", when in actuality, you are the one that's doing it!
Seeing the silver lining in everything
As a kid, I used to think that when I'm studying the piano at the afternoon, all the other kids are out there playing at the golden sunset! No! I felt a sense of loss! Yet, now, I'm grateful on some nights when I can just be in the office and function to my heart content. Just me and my job. Sometimes I may feel like that is lonely and perhaps it is, but that's the way it is for today, and I have learned to view it as a boon, I get to hangout with my jak zacząć rozmowę na tinderze friends once I need to, and have my own time without being stressed by work or personal duties.
Being trendy without"trying"
I have leverage the capability to be present thanks to Ekhart Tolle and I've noticed that when I'm relaxed and unstressedI have an open vibe. People today talk to me personally. "What's that you are purchasing?" I think that on weekdays, since so many people are stressed, an unstressed, receptive energy translates well compared to all of the pent up energy that we see everyday. I am fortunate enough to have financial freedom at this stage in my entire life, and that I shall continue to channel a cool, open vibe, even if I'm working hard on the job.
Presence, and inner love
Being"chill" also means non-judgement. When we judge others, in certain ways we are also dealing with our own demons. Your own presence of light is enough -- that alone can sustain you and add love to the entire world. Occasionally our self gets in the way, and blinds us out of the flicker and magnificent of what is there to begin with.
Strive for the finest, decision Absolutely Free of others
I used to judge others or"despise on them" when they are useless to my goals. I realized this is the incorrect way to examine the world. Everybody is on their own journey. In many ways, my negativity towards them was really at myself -- at my own inability to make things work. I should have sought out help sooner, or acknowledged that I needed to meet new folks, rather than resenting my friends. You can not always change somebody, however you can always love them.
It's ok to be an asshole, occasionally our mistakes teach us how to arrive at the Ideal solution
In order for me to "find peace".
Or reach a point of acceptance, I had to undergo pain. The pain helps you reach a point (hopefully) of throwing away the bags of the self.
Intimate relationships, savor all of the life has to offer. Drink from the fountain
While I used to select the hottest women, I now want the deepest connections in every area of my life. Am I still drawn to beautiful women? Absolutely. But my fascination today is more than only a physical one. I find myself losing attraction for shallow beauty, and much more in tune with inner beauty.
I am still attracted sexually to superficial beauty, but in terms of my relationships as well as an-ongoing type of situation, I see myself valuing a beautiful woman with great inner qualities as well.
10 Reasons Why Intelligent Men Fail With Women
That is an original Article from David DeAngelo back in the early 2000s.
I have been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now... and one"problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER
and OVER and OVER again...
...and it's really amazes me.
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very lower levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an wonderful amount of time, I'd love to share my ideas about it with you.
I presume that if you've read this far, you then see probably yourself as smarter than the average man.
You are aware that you are somewhat different than other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently, and thought differently than others in school...
And you've probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in several regions of life...
Your smart mind gives you a specific type of advantage which can be very, very powerful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart folks become accustomed to being"right", because they usually ARE right.
And when you are RIGHT more often than other people, you can get ahead in many situations.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It can actually be like having a hammer when you will need to tighten a bolt. If you apply the tool you have for the job, you're most likely make the problem WORSE.
Of course, it is hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his odds for success...
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your mind, and allow me to share with you the ten reasons why intelligent men fail with girls... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=seduction SEE IT OR ADMIT IT
I said that smart guys are Utilized to being RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do if they encounter a situation where they are mistaken?
They find a new situation... one that matches their strength. They know they will be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing that it will not be long until they are straight again.
(OR they allow the"problem situation" ruin them... more on this later.)
There is no quick"I'm right" around another corner to allow you to feel much better.
It only takes"failing" with a few girls in a row to get a wise man to observe the routine... and realize that something isn't working.
Option? Think harder.
A clever man just assumes his logic has to be good... so he just keeps thinking harder.
However, when no success comes, it really starts
to become emotionally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a very difficult thing for a"smart man".
Accepting that you are not just incorrect, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even harder.
Finally, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:
I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T Work out How TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that to get a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
in summary, many smart men refuse to accept this a good, solid, workable response could come from somebody"dumber" than them, so they dismiss any idea that comes from an"obviously less intelligent person" before attempting it.
Let me ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking around Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the man on this planet with the highest I.Q., or even a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50... but who climbed up being chased by dinosaurs and all types of creatures that wanted to eat him all his life?
It is a fascinating question.
Today, ideally you'd love to have the guide who is not the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly creatures...
But now allow me to ask you:
In case you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows how to attract girls?
There is something about being clever that makes some men unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone that isn't either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any wise GUY can see the folly in this particular approach... once it is examined carefully.
If you have been making this error, then you will need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.
Discover from a few"dumb" guys... and let them teach you how you can get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS
It BLOWS MY MIND the number of clever guys I meet that just don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.
It is as if they have logically concluded that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would have to find out.
In fact, I think there are a whole lot of
smart guys running around this planet who don't
even have"social skills" and"be a cool guy that people love" in their"MENTAL MODEL" of what it might possibly have to be successful with women and dating.
Social skills are only the... SKILLS.
They're not social INFORMATION.
They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.
And you also do not get them THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans... and in case you don't have great social skills, you dramatically lower your odds for success with women.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart men do something which fascinates the hell out of me...
They come up with all the reasons why what WON'T WORK when it comes to dating and women.
They actually determine why what they would love to do will probably fail...
They use their awesome creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary results to create negative emotions... which ultimately prevent them from having success with women and dating.
Now, in case you've thought something through and think of a good reason it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that will fail?
It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with girls.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and they do not UNDERSTAND what is needed to be successful with girls, they are working with bad characters. They're wrong before they start figuring!
With your mind to develop with all the reasons why things won't operate in this area of your own life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You have to learn to overcome this habit if you've got it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY"INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What exactly does a smart guy do if he runs into an issue... or he needs to figure out something?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.
MORE INFORMATION is obviously the answer.
Info is the buddy of a wise guy.
Obtained a peculiar virus onto your computer? Just hop online and search for how to eliminate it.
Don't know how to change the alternator on your vehicle? No prob. Simply buy the guide and turn to page 147.
Don't know the definition of a phrase? Open up your dictionary.
What exactly do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a issue with girls?
They believe the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or a more magic concept.
How would you even know that it was making things worse?
NowI don't want to imply that learning more about how to be successful with women isn't a good thing. It's not.
But in case you have an issue that's EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then studying five thousand theories on it likely is not going to help you very much.
You want to get out from the real world and try some stuff!
You Want to look at the REAL issue... the Origin of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there is a very good chance that you've got MORE than sufficient"information".
Smart guys often use"more info" to divert them from TAKING ACTION.
I have heard this called"Creative Avoidance".
Nod silently in the event that you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid confronting something in your life.
Good, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION
NEWS JUST IN: Women do not feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a girl?
They become a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that is where THEY feel comfortable... not understanding that they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical dialogue.
When you start a logical conversation with a woman you've just met, you're essentially taking out a NEON SIGN that says"I don't get it when it comes to girls" and placing it on your head.
Typical"logical" discussions include things like talking about work, family, faculty, and jobs... discussing politics, religion, weather... and whatever has to do with math, science, or even INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start speaking to some woman and you say"OK, so tell me something... Why is it that all women say that they desire candy, nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any response she gives) you are with an EMOTIONAL conversation.
In case you don't understand what I'm talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.
If you are taking a test, you could sit and work out the responses.
If you've got a mathematics problem, it is possible to work on it until you have figured out it.
If you are attempting to correct something, you can keep working on it till it's fixed.
Smart men are utilized to being able to take at least a small bit of time to prepare and show off their"good sides" in most scenarios.
Not so with women...
If you don't know what to do in each step along the way, you'll be closed down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING"He does not make it" radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw men to separate the"get its" in the"don't get its".
And if you don't get that, then you're going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
However, the worst part is you won't ever KNOW that you were being analyzed... OR that you neglected.
Smart men aren't used to coping with complicated EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the second... and particularly the"women and dating" type.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to deal with all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.
However, before you can find out how to take care of the evaluations, you have to first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you've got basic social abilities, and how to keep your cool at the moment.
Two ) Learn about her favourite travel destination so you might discuss it with her.
OK, time's up.
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.
I mean, why WOULDN'T zachowanie żony po zdradzie you want to show up with her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you wish to talk about her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you wish to take her to eat her favorite foods so that she enjoyed herself?
Move with me here...
Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER if they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers... and bringing them into the FIRST DATE.
In their minds, they are thinking"I will be the man who's thinking ahead... and now I will show up with all the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she is likely to see them like me because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake these"smart" men make is not realizing that it does not really take a wise person to think in this way!
Actually, ANY jackass can work out how to kiss a woman's ass.
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
A smart guy, in his proud arrogance, will believe he's being such the charmer using this"thoughtful" approach...
...and the girl he is pursuing will translate it as another Wussy who's trying to MANIPULATE her.
Another blow to intellect.
Have you ever met someone who'd actually argue with you about something that they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they simply could not close their"smart mouths"?
Over the past couple of years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again...
Smart men do not like to be"beginners" in ANYTHING.
They don't like the idea of screwing up... especially if they're watching.
They wish to keep this"smart man" picture of themselves... so they try to always be"The Expert" at anything they do. I am a newcomer at this... how do I do it? What should I do ? What ?" ... and instead of being completely OK with screwing up, making errors, and making a fool of themselves in front of other people in order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're novices... so that they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS
A clever man's STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
And because many smart men are not comfortable dealing with things they're bad at, they just repress or RUN from fear.
Many men prefer to DIE in lonely isolation than admit they don't understand how to deal with their emotions... or, GODFORBID, request assistance!
I understand what it's like.
But the reality is that any man can learn how to manage as well as MASTER his feelings (even fear)... when he takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a huge favor... take the time. Take the effort.
Do not worry about what anybody else thinks of you... it doesn't matter.
What's you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.
...I think that the reason why I'm so fascinated with"The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to struggle with each of these issues for a whole lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...
But I don't believe mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me even though I had been so very good at figuring things out, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me you know what I'm talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a couple years... attempting all sorts of mad"logical" things... I eventually got the"bright" idea to begin studying men who were"naturally" good with girls.
Of course, I found out you might be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at precisely the exact same moment.
I also heard that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the"naturals" did with girls... and learning how they"thought" about the subject, I started to understand that success with women was not entirely LOGICAL.
A lot of what I learned was quite tough for me to accept... since my logical mind simply didn't need to purchase it.
One thing that I saw was men pushing women away from them... and having the girls then chase them in response.
Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful girls and make jokes about them to their faces... and then watched those girls become"little girls" in reaction... unable to maintain their composure, and so not able to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's amount I wanted anytime I wanted... date some other kind of girl I wanted...
...and above all, GET RID of that"empty" feeling that I carried around my entire life since I didn't know how to attract girls.
And after I got this region of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this region of THEIR lives together.
The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and energy is that my free Secret Society Letters.
And I'd love to invite you to register.
It is completely free, there's no obligation, I will never share your email address with anyone, and you may easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things into a"physical" level smoothly and easily.
And I will speak to you again soon.